HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
