Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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