I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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