last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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