The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
