its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
