I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize