Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
