names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
