i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize