My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We are two peas in an std pod
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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