you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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