Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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