When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Non-Jews are for practice
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
