Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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