You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
