Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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