We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
