I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
