That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
