dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize