everyone is single if you try hard enough
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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