The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
