Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
