It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
