Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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