Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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