I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
