He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
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Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
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In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize