someone owes me an orgasm
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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