Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
