Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
