You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
