If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
