Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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