well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize