his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
