All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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