idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You left your phone here
Wait...
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