haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Bring me that man meat
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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