doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
