I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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