Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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