Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
