Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
