I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
