one might say we're banned from that church
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
