today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize