I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
