Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
