There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
