Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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