He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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