Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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