Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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