your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
