Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
