we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
