Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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