Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
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Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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