its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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