I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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