Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Someone came in the potted fern
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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