If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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